Banned from zoo.
Again?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
