Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
