his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
How external is "for external use only"?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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