my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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