That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
why do cheetos always look like penises
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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