He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
