how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
