how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
