sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
