Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
