But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
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