At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
