i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
