he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize