i permit you to call me
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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