You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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