I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
