party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
