WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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