I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
