Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize