Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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