theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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