Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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