There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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