Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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