I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
