can we get nightvision for the apartment?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
