I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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