guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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