so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
