She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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