Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
someone owes me an orgasm
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
