She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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