that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
