Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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