eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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