i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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