im holly from the hills drunk
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize