No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
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Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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