Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
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and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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