omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
