He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
