his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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