Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
