My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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