Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
