Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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