just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
