so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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