Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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