I think i peed on brittanys purse
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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