I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
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you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
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However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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