I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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