STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
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