i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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