nut hugger
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
