I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
