just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
