the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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