she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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