I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
