He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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